Kernowsport

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Kernow Kernowsport
KernowsportLogo.png
Founder Dan Thorn
Base Kernow Davidstow, Cornwall
Racing Colours
Notable Games Forza3Logo.png Forza4Logo.png GridLogo.png RaceProLogo.png
Notable Drivers Kernow Dan 7horn
Races Competed 131
Championships Won 1
Special Events Won 0
Race Wins 5
Podiums 33
Fastest Laps 15
Pole Positions 1

Kernowsport is a Cornish team founded by driver Dan Thorn.

Origins

Based at Davidstow airfield in Cornwall, Dan set out to make a Cornish racing team despite not being particularly Cornish himself. The livery predominantly features the Cornish flag and the yellowy-orange colour associated with sport in the region.

Just days into its inception, the team became embroiled in a controversy. Cornish food giant Ginsters had offered Thorn a sponsorship deal reported to be worth seven figures.* Dan, however, had other ideas, and declined the deal. Turning down such an offer did not go down well in the national press - leading journalistic figure Chad Chumley-Bumworth called Dan "mental, a raving lunatic." When asked why he'd turned down such a wonderful offer Dan simply responded: "Why? Because Ginsters are shit, that's why." Dan was later seen wandering aimlessly around the paddock whilst eating a pasty from Warrens and clamouring after Davidstow Cheddar.

As a result the team has minimal sponsorship for the season. Dan's comments about Ginsters greatly endeared him to other Cornish companies however, and many are reputedly in talk to provide full time backing for Thorn in future seasons. For season three, Stenlakes Water and Waste Systems provided the teams major backing*, no doubt aided by the connection between Thorn and his best friend, Sir Martyn of Stenlake III.

*May not have happened.

Racing Activities

Really Rubbish Racing Touring Car Championship

Kernowsport won the Really Rubbish Racing Touring Car Championship Independents Trophy with team owner Dan Thorn as the driver. The team took no less than 13 podiums (including 7 wins) en route to the title with their Vauxall Astra VXR. Dan praised his mechanics for their setup work over the season, in particular their work with the gear ratios which enabled the car to have good acceleration and top speed, as well as being strong on the brakes. This is cited as a big factor in the teams success, as Thorn was often able to seize the lead of a race early on and pull away in clean air.

4zaMC

The team also prepped a Citroen C1 for the 4zaMC. Dan was able to take the car to a pole position and six podiums en route to 4th in the championship. The car was set up to be mighty in the corners and on the tight and twisty tracks, the car was hard to beat. However it was underpowered and on the circuits where engine power made more of a difference the Dan was unable to remain competitive.

MEMES

Kernowsport announced they'd be entering the Mid-Engined, Mid-Eighties Series (MEMES). The season, which features classic mid engined cars from the 60s, 70s and 80s, will give the team the chance to try their hand at designing liveries for several different cars. When the press told the teams chief artist the liveries should have a 1980s theme, he exclaimed "What? I don't know anything about that modern stuff. Now leave me alone, I need to go to the farm shop to get some metposts."

Trofeo MiTo

The team was asked to provide a car for the support series to the GTSSS and came up with the Trofeo MiTo. They entered a car with founder Dan and new sponsor, Tolgus Tin. The season was promising, with a 4 podiums, 2 fastest laps and a race win. Going into the final round they had an outside chance of winning the championship, but Dan choked (possibly on a Cornish fairing, though this has never been confirmed) and and thus was only able to finish 4th.

Special Events

Kernowsport also prepared a Renault Twingo for the Renault Twingo SuperCup. Focusing on engine power, and relying on Thorn's smooth driving style to cope in the corners allowed the team to secure two podiums in the four races. Team and driver finished fifth overall, beating both Really Rubbish Racing Champions RumblyLizard and FlavouryRug.

A late minute deal with 'Shifty Mike' saw Kernowsport acquire a Jupiter Eagleray for competition in Merry Crashmas. The team took their first ever win with Thorn at the wheel and finished second overall. The car was impounded the next day as it turned out Shifty Mike had acquired the car illegally from the Cornish Mafia, who had been using it to smuggle huge amounts of grain into Devon by storing it in the roll cage. Those in the team responsible for getting the car have subsequently been fired and/or shot.

The team also prepared a Nissan Leaf for the 0EEE, but somehow the car became possessed and tried to kill the driver before the event had even started. The car remained unraced.

After a brief absence over the winter period, Kernowsport returned for the Nordschleife 90 Nordschleife 90. Using The Indypendables spare Opel Astra V8 chassis, the team added some garish autumnal camouflage effects which they felt constituted 'art'. Dan brought the car home in 5th place. The next Special Event, the Radically Rubbish Cup, featured four races. Three of them didn't go at all well, but again at the Nordschleife Dan drove well, bringing the car home in third place. A team spokesman said: "I tell ee, thet trek'az sem bleddy bumps, in'um!" Few understood what that means.

Kernowsport prepared a Cobra Daytona for the Carroll Shelby Tribute Trophy, which Dan took to two podiums and 3rd overall. There was supposed to be a press release but Dan blocked it. "Cornish stereotyping is not appropriate in celebrating the life of such a great man" said Dan whilst on a visit to Tolgus Tin Mine.

For the first time in the teams history another driver raced for Kernowsport. Covamalia was set to race alongside Dan in the Formula R Festival and fancied themselves as the favourites, but the event was cancelled after some ridiculous supernatural phenomena.

Garage

Kernowsport's RRRTCC winning Vauxhall Astra VXR
The 'Saint Piran' liveried Renault SuperTwingo
Kernowsport's Citroen C1 before the 4zaMC season
The Jupiter Eagleray MkV used in Merry Crashmas
The Kernowsport Nissan Leaf, unraced for supernatural reasons
Mmmmm, splotchy. The Kernowsport Astra V8
Kernowsport secured sponsorship from the latest videogame for MEMES.
The 'Car of the Week' liveries Kernowsport used for MEMES.
Kernowsport promoted tourism with their RRC Radical.
7
The Gunmetal Kernowsport Daytona outside Dan's villa in Rock.
The Trofeo MiTo brought a new sponsor from a defunct industry.
A tribute to the legendary 90s BTCC Lagunas was in order for the Clio Cup.
The FART Abarth 500 sported a classic Martini colour scheme
As used in NASCARRR Stock X - but why does a Cornish team have a massive picture of Danica Patrick? Why not.
The NASCARRR XS Runoff GMC. Livery designed and executed by a blind man. That's our story and we're sticking to it.
A classically rubbish Lotus livery was the name of the game for the Lotus Exige World Cup.
Since this classic JGTC livery is in Kernowsport colours, we just had to pay tribute to it in Mega GT.
Ajokay painted this Benetton tribute for Dan for the reborn Formula R Festival.
The Furai Memorial Trophy saw a 787B livery with a Kernowsport twist.
Kernowsport went accidentally Belgian with the GEARS livery for their Audi R8.
Another Ajokay livery - this time painted to Dan's specifications for the RlyRTCC2.
WHATCar? More like WHATflag! (Oh ho ho).
A slightly different colour scheme for the MX-5 Masters.

Complete Results

Series & Championships

Season Series Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 Pos Points
2 RRRTCC
Independent Trophy
SUN
Spr
SUN
Fea
CAT
Spr
CAT
Fea
AML
Spr
AML
Fea
LAG
Spr
LAG
Fea
BUG
Spr
BUG
Fea
SIL
Spr
SIL
Fea
MUG
Spr
MUG
Fea
SUZ
Spr
SUZ
Fea
n/a 118
Kernow Dan Thorn 7 6 6 6 8 8 4 7 2 7 14 7 6 8
3 4zaMC CAT CAM POS TOP HOC NUR MAP ATL SEB INF TSU MOT n/a 111
Kernow Dan Thorn 3 2 3 7 2 7 2 Ret 4 9 2 6
5 MEMES TSU CAM ATL POS LAD TOP BER SIL CAM MUG MAP IBE IBE BEN TSU INF TOP SUN SED TOP MUG n/a 280
Kernow Dan Thorn 10 10 13 4 8 4 7 2 2 2 5 3 6 4 8 2 5 1 10 6 1
7s Trofeo MiTo SUN SEB CAT SIL NUR SUZ ATL n/a 148
Kernow Dan Thorn 14 3 3 6 1* 2 9*
8s Clio Cup SUZ LAD IBR MAP TSU SUZ MOT n/a 54
Kernow Dan Thorn 6 7 5
9s FART HOC CAT SIL MUG CAM SEB NUR n/a 64
Kernow Dan Thorn 3 6 4
10 NASCARRR Stock X IND
O
IND
R
CAM
O
CAM
R
BEN
O
BEN
O
SED
O
SED
R
SON
R
SON
R
MOT
O
MOT
R
SUN
O
SUN
R
n/a 154
Kernow Dan Thorn 12 Ret 7 5 9 Ret 11 17 5 14 4 5 11 2
10s NASCARRR XS Runoff IND CAM BEN SED SON MOT SUN n/a 115
Kernow Dan Thorn 17 11 5 3 2 1
11 Lotus Exige World Cup MUG POS IBR IBR MAP ATL LAG SON SUZ TSU NUR BER SIL TOP n/a 58
Kernow Dan Thorn 14 15 15 11 12 4 12 5 7 4 7 6

Race 07

Season Series Team 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Pos Points
PC-1 Formula R Festival BRH
1

BRH
2

ZAN
1

ZAN
2

PAU
1
PAU
2

AND
1

AND
2

8th 5
Kernow Dan Thorn Ret DNS 10 Ret 9 8 8 6

Results Key
Bold - Pole Position
Italics - Fastest lap
* Season in Progress

Special Events

Event Title Driver Car Position Points
2 Renault Twingo SuperCup Kernow Dan Thorn France Renault Twingo 5th 18
3 Dan Wheldon Invitational Kernow Dan Thorn United States of America Acura ARX-01b 8th n/a
4 Merry Crashmas Kernow Dan Thorn United States of America Jupiter Eagleray Mk5 2nd 460
7 HGTM Nordschleife 90 Kernow Dan Thorn Germany Opel Astra V8 5th n/a
8 Radically Rubbish Cup Kernow Dan Thorn United Kingdom Radical SR8 7th 8
11 Carroll Shelby Tribute Trophy Kernow Dan Thorn United States of America Shelby Cobra Daytona Coupe 3rd 40
19 Mega GT 200 Kernow Dan Thorn Japan Nissan Fairlady Z Mega 350 8th (3rd) n/a
23 Furai Memorial Trophy Kernow Dan Thorn Japan Mazda Furai 7th 23
24 GEARS Tsukuba Endurance Cup Kernow Dan Thorn Germany Audi R8 LMS Ultra 3rd 4
26 WHAT Kernow Dan Thorn Italy Alfa Romeo MiTo 4th 114